…laughing the loudest
while hurting the deepest

Teaching me to laugh
at myself, through
hurt and hurdles
It’ll pass.

Or not.
And I learned fast.

 

Your laughter raw,
tinged with bitter
sarcasm, self-deprecating
contagious

 

And we laughed
belly aches
voice breaks
face cramps

so loud
and so long

my hurts now have
you-shaped hues

 

And my laughter now
extends
shadow fingers in
unshaken habit
across cities to
find you

 

And my laughter now
echos
your hurt from
all your losses. And
from that one
loss.

 

I wish
with all my heart
that you found your way
again.

 

I wish
to run into you at
a peak of this our mountain and
realise you took
another route but
were climbing all along.

 

It would bring me
such great joy to
watch you laugh again and
in that moment

fail to recognise you, for
all the absence of hurt in
your features

 

I miss you, RS.
I wish you peace.