… I realise the car is no longer moving
and he is waiting for me to get off my phone
so we can go in. This is a difficult call
to cut short. It is just as difficult a call
to continue because I realise I cannot
change anything.
As we walk in, he tells me
what this place is. It is the
Bahá’í house of worship, a place
of reflection and prayer
for everyone,
irrespective of their
religion.
Every decision I have made
in my life
has brought me to this place
at this exact moment.
It is serene, despite the crowd. I listen
to him speak as I lose myself
in the architecture.
When we finally sit
in the silent temple, barefoot,
my tears break the dam
I have been carefully crafting.
This is the only place
I need to be
in this moment.
And there are so many things
I want to pray for,
my mind explodes in a riot,
overwhelmed.
Breathe.
Let go.
Be silent.
What is the least selfish thing
you could ask? For the one person
you know who has
spent a lifetime protecting
and uplifting her family
with prayer?
No pain.
No fear.
No sorrow.
No guilt.
And whether she survives this
or not.
Peace.
Nothing missing and
nothing broken.
Only peace.
So I pray for peace
for my beloved grandma.
And I cry
but I do not mourn.
And I will
wait
patiently
for the next phone call.
***
Please grant me
the serenity
to accept things I cannot change
The courage
to change the things I can
And wisdom
to know the difference