There is no way…

…to die of cancer

32 months
And there is no way
to die of cancer when
your mother asks you to wait
until she dies

There is also no way
for both mother and son to
simultaneously
die of cancer

 

Yet you showed me your way
32 months
and how grateful I am
that you did

That you could make dying
look like living. I
almost forgot we were
saying goodbye, despite
how often I ended up
saying hello to you
Again
At your hospital bed

 

That you gave me the chance
32 months
to accompany you
That you made it easier
for me, despite your own
pain. Kept reminding me
that we were doing
our best, despite
all the setbacks

 

Thank you. For
32 months
thanking us so often

Dying people do not
thank their surgeons
often

***

There is no way
to ask a dying man about
his dying mother. Is it
cruel
to hope you didn’t break your promise
32 months
to her? To hope you
didn’t die
with such a burden?

 

And there is still no way
to say goodbye
to a very
familiar stranger.  But

 

fighter, fighter, beautiful-
souled, ever-
smiling, ever-
grateful soldier, you
32 months

are scarred on your
surgeons’ hearts

RIP FK